Episode 14: Dealing with a Pornography Disclosure


Natasha Helfer Parker interviews Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, PhD, LCPC, on the topic of how to best handle a pornography disclosure within a couple system. This would be applicable for a couple where pornography viewing and/or masturbation was/is taking place by one spouse/partner in secret from the other. And now the behavior has come to light either through a voluntary disclosure ("confession" per se) or has been "found out." This often creates a marital or relational crisis that needs to be navigated -especially in the context of a religious construct where high standards of sexual conduct have been developed. How can a couple take this type of catalyst and use it as an opportunity to develop not only the relationship, but the self? How do the ways we teach and talk about pornography keep us from healthy integration of sexuality and sensual pleasure? How do we navigate such things as our religious/spiritual values, the relationship we do or do not want with pornography, and our desire to be empathic lovers? How do we stand up for the type of sexuality we want in our relationships - in ways that honor and respect what our partners want? 


Dr. Finlayson-Fife grew up in Burlington, Vermont as one of eight children.  She studied Psychology and Women's Studies at Brigham Young University, and went on to receive her Masters and PhD in Counseling Psychology from Boston College.  She has a private practice in Chicago, IL where she works primarily with LDS couples on relational and sexual issues. She is a frequent guest on LDS-themed podcasts, and has written articles for LDS-themed magazines and blogs on the subjects of sexuality, modesty, relationships, mental health and faith.  She is married to John Finlayson-Fife and has three wonderful children. 


Resoureces mentioned during podcast:

LDS Female Sexuality with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife: Podcast on Mormon Mental Health Podcast 

Mormon Mental Health Association Position on Sex Addiction

Women and Mormonism: Historical and Contemporary Perspectives - Book coming out in near future

Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

David Schnarch author of Passionate Marriage

Tour of Italy for Mormons with Dr. Finlayson-Fife - Link will be made available 


Thank you to Jeff Meyers for the intro and Peter & Mary Danzig of Otter Creek Duo for the concluding bumper music. 


Natasha Helfer Parker runs a private practice in Wichita, KS and writes at The Mormon Therapist for Patheos: Hosting the Conversation of Faith.  She also hosts the popular podcast, Mormon Mental Health.  


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