16: Recovering from Infidelity: The New Monogamy


Natasha Helfer Parker interviews Dr. Tammy Nelson, author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity, regarding the complicated issues and tasks associated with recovering from infidelity. So many applicable things are discussed, whether you have experienced infidelity in your relationship or not. How do we define infidelity in the first place? How does having dialogue about what monogamy means help prevent infidelity? What can one expect to experience when they have found out their partner has been unfaithful? What are some ways to categorize the different stages of crisis and healing a couple might go through as they deal with betrayal? How do we negotiate our sexual relationships in regards to what some would consider benign behaviors like being attracted to other people, masturbation, and flirtation all the way to deciding to open one's marriage to the sexual or romantic involvement of other people? When does infidelity point towards the end of a relationship? How do we find meaning in betrayals - as far as what they tell us about our relationships and our roles in them? What's the difference between forgiveness and empathy - and what roles do these play? A wonderful overview of the many complexities and possibilities couples are facing as they decide how to move forward after a significant betrayal.  


Tammy Nelson, PhD is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice, a relationship expert and international speaker, an author, a faculty member and teacher for over 25 years. She holds a Doctorate in Philosophy in Clinical Sexology, is a Board Certified Sexologist, a Diplomat of the American Board of Sexologists, a Licensed Professional Counselor, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, a Registered Art Therapist, a Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor, a Certified Imago Relationship therapist and an Advanced Imago Clinician.  Dr. Nelson is the author of several books including,  “The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity“ (January 2013), “Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together”  (2008), “What’s Eating You: A Workbook for Teens with Anorexia, Bulimia, and other Eating Disorders” (2004). Her latest book is currently under negotiation. She is the author of “Six Weeks to Desire” (2013), an eBook, currently published on Amazon, as well as several chapters of edited compilations and articles in professional journals. She has also been a featured expert in many media forums such as the New York Times, Women's Health, Wall Street Journal and Redbook.  


Resources mentioned in the podcast:

The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity

For the Six Weeks to Desire Ebook contact Dr. Nelson directly: [email protected]


Thank you to Jeff Meyers for the intro and Peter & Mary Danzig of Otter Creek Duo for the concluding bumper music. 


Natasha Helfer Parker runs a private practice in Wichita, KS and writes at The Mormon Therapist for Patheos: Hosting the Conversation of Faith.  She also hosts the popular podcast, Mormon Mental Health.  


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